THE KRAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such a beast was whispered about in legend but there were few who had survived an encounter with THE KRAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spoken of in hushed whispers down the darkest of roads the monster was THE KRAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Many were the warriors who ventured forth in the hope of finding glory by slaying the large animal, Thundor knew this, however this time he knew the story would not end in such a punctual fashion. "You have been chosen", the old man had told him, "for it is your DESTINY to defeat THE KRAKEN!!!!!!"

Thundor was a dwarf, that was all he knew, given that that had been his entire existence. He had grown up in Khazad-dum with his best friend Rick Moretti. Rick was a lovable scamp with a New York accent and a penchant for flower arrangement. Thundor's father Blitzcrown was against their blossoming relationship from the beginning. Thundor's mother was dead and therfore had no opinion. As children they had taken pleasure in walking beside the lake and taunting the KRAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with fireworks and petty insults. The fireworks they would purchase at Melkor's Fireworks Imporium and Sundry Store. "Hey Melkor, I thought you were all stuck in a timeless rift between universes and stuff?" said Rick. "Nope" replied Melkor. In summary, their life had been enjoyable growing up in Durin's camp in Khazad-dum.

One day Thundor was shrieking profoundly when Blitzcrown accosted him. "Hey. Stop." Thundor paused profoundly. "Son, I bring ill news!" he continued. "Ill news?" questioned Thundor quizically. "Ill news." replied his father before leaving. He didn't need to say any more, at that point Thundor knew that his friend Rick had been eaten by the KRAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He donned his KRAKEN fighting armour. I knew I'd eventually use this, he mused in his brain. Then he reached for his traditional dwarven trident which had been handed down from father to son by his great-grandfather Tridentgifter.

As he arrived at the lake he imagined what Rick's last words would have been. I died as I lived, being eaten by a Kraken, here. Thundor knew he faced insurmountable odds ratios and certain fatality but he would fight on for the memory of his mother who had also been eaten in a KRAKEN related incident. "Yo Kraken, come on out here and face me!" he yelled seductively.

The KRAKEN was large with KRAKENesque features. He appeared to Thundor as a grotesque wall of limbs and teeth. Thundor had never seen the creature in it's entirity and found the image to be frightfully disappointing. "Oh, if I had a warrior's corpse (which I do) for everytime I heard that" the KRAKEN chuckled amiably. "Aw, I thought you'd have some more limbs or teeth or something." said Thundor deflatedly. 'WHAT!? You just described me as being a wall of teeth and limbs. Right there in your mind. I have telepathic powers too you see. But where are my manners? Going on boasting about my powers like that. Would you like to enter my disgestive tract for some digestion?" Thundor had had enough pleasantries and was starting to get a bit magnanimous. "Did you eat my son Rick?" asked Thundor "He was also my best friend." "My hunger was obviously stronger than his will to live so he was fair game if you ask me. But I think you may still find him if you enter into my digestive tract." Thundor was not going to fall for that one again, he had had enough and he attacked but was slain instantly.

And so the mighty KRAKEN having vanquished the evil Thundor ventured forth to distant lakes where he attempted to persuade other travellers to enter his digestive tract while maintaining a modicum of civility.

The end......................?