So why'd I come to Gotham?

Good question.

    Believe me, spending Daddy's money around Sin City is just about the only thing I have to look forward to when I get up in the morning.  Still and all, I wanted to give that town a shot.  It's just the sort of place for people like me from what I hear.  There was a time that it wasn't too much different from Basin.  Then "You-Know-Who" showed up.  Took out the mafia, brought down some city officials, and got the police department all nice and squeaky clean.  Some jerk-off named Gordon is the commissioner now.  He's apparently just like John Hartigan but even more of a boy scout.

    Here's the funny thing.  Gotham isn't much safer now than what it was before "You-Know-Who" showed up.  There's no more mafia or crooked cops, but now there are freaks that make me look like Tom Cruise running it.  They get their jollies off on other things, though.  Like hosing people with some weird gases to make them crazy and shit.  So while I was sure I could meet up with some characters for the weekend, I had a much bigger chance of getting caught.  Made things more fun.

    Anyway, I took Schlub and Klump with me.  They found me a nice little princess from the suburbs.  After I was done with her, somehow, my name was passed around the city and I ended up meeting a guy named Crane.  Called himself the Scarecrow and dressed the part (yeah, one of the freaks I was talking about).  He heard how much I like it when the kids scream.  "I dabble in fear myself," he told me.  He wanted to perform some weird experiments on one of my victims.  Normally, I like to do these things alone, but I wanted to meet the locals anyway, so I figured why not.

    He helped me find a couple brats.  The last one was from the slums, near some town called Bludhaven.  He had her rigged to some sort of machine while I was about to start my business.  And that was about the time "You-Know-Who" showed up.  The guy just dropped through the skyline, looking like a... well, like a giant bat.  I mean, that's his whole schtick, right?  Pointy ears, big cape that looked like wings, dressed all in black.  He dropped down with shards of glass and bullets flying everywhere from Crane's men.  The guy just lands right in the middle of them and all I see is his cape flapping around and the next thing I know, these guys are getting tossed left and right.  My boys, Schlub and Klump, they're not bad shots even if they talk too much.  They couldn't hit the guy for nothing, even with uzis.  The guy just kind of jumped toward `im, managed not to get shot, and did some sort of maneuver in mid-air.  Next thing I know, they're unconscious at his feet.  As for me, I'm a terrible shot.  I never get into gunfights much.  I emptied my berretta, but didn't hit a thing.  Didn't help the fact that I was scared shitless.  The last time some do-gooder got on my case like this, I ended up getting my ear and hand shot off.  Then, I got my nuts blown away for good measure.  Spent a while in a coma and woke up as an ugly yellow bastard.  This guy wasn't John Hartigan, though.  I didn't know if he was gonna stop at just ripping my equipment off.  Before he could get to me, Crane stepped in, "A perfect opportunity for a guinea pig," he said.

    From what I understand, Crane's machine studied my victims' brainwaves and somehow brought up childhood fears or something like that.  He mentioned something about fear in children being much higher than adults... yadda, yadda, yadda.  Anyway, he turned the machine on to "You-Know-Who".  The guy fell to his knees and mentioned something about his mom and dad.  Didn't think a guy like that had parents.  Anyway, here's the crazy part: some kid in a red costume burst through the door, riding a motorcycle.  Apparently, this kid in tights runs around with him on adventures sometimes.  And they call me sick.

   The kid smashed the machine by running over it then "You-Know-Who" got right back up.  This machine was supposed to bring full-grown men to their knees.  Crane had used it previously on one of his stooges and the guy was in quaking fear for hours.  This guy got over it just like that.  Knocked Crane out from what I could tell.  At this point, I was high-tailing it out of there.  I got in my car and took off as fast as possible while the Scarecrow was getting his head kicked in and who knows what else.  I never got a chance to even touch that little girl.  Crane went to some place called Arkham while the rest were thrown in jail, including my boys.  My dad was pissed, but he was still able to pull some strings to get Schlub and Klump off.

   The thing is, I built up some sort of rep while I was in Gotham.  Some of those psychos are planning on coming to Sin City for a visit since they figured they could get away with their business easier.  "You-Know-Who" grilled Schlub and Klump for a few minutes while they were being held.  They told him about me, so who knows what will happen there.  My dad told me to lay low for a bit while he tried to handle things.  I only know one thing:I'm never going to that fucking town again.