Prologue It’s funny how most people say “how did we get here” when they find themselves in an exceptionally precarious position. I unfortunately don’t have that luxury. I know how I got here and where I’m headed. The worst part is that I already know what’s going to happen, so sitting here all that’s left for me to do is to do it. Everybody knows what’s going on but nobody says anything because it’s not really happening. An entire age of wars, two world conflicts, a Nam’ and Korea, Kuwait, Kosovo and let’s not forget your garden variety African civil war, all contributed to the significant decline in the human male population. Then those hippie liberals decided to enforce universal suffrage, female empowerment and equal rights. Let that stew for a few decades and what do we have? A race once called the proud Samurai reduced to a sniveling bunch of midgets who can’t look a woman in the eye. Muscular dark warriors who ran down antelope on foot, who now are afraid of their mommas. The blood of Incan emperors running through the veins of men who call their girlfriends when they get picked on. The term man is used only to refer to your three best friends born between your legs, no longer a title of pride of your actions or your physical presence. Well that alone does not amount to the shit stew we’re all standing in line to receive. No. A ten to one woman to man ratio, affirmative action began the transfer of wealth and power into the hands of women and the divide began. It wasn’t a physical divide, no Iron Curtain or Berlin Wall that divided the world. It was a physiological and social divide. Men and women co-exist; women just hold all the power and wealth in the world today. Well not all of it. We call them the seven. Seven men who still have power. Men who still retain the wealth they made and were born with. Seven men who stand as a standard against the roofless rise in status of women. A standard not there by their choosing but rather the hopeful murmurings of men who hope to one day return to the days of the glory and the romance of a man. Seven men who now are considered very dangerous by the Sisterhood because of their rebellious potential and their resistance to succumb to the new status quo. My job is to kill them. So here’s the first thought that went through your mind. “It’s a chick, goddamn chick assassins trying to take a brother down. Wrong! Your next thought then was. “Well maybe it’s got both; you know guy and chick parts”. Fuck you! I don’t, I’m all man baby. I’m packin’ a cannon and two balls aight! Why kill his fellow man you wonder? We’ll get to that; first let me quell that unsettling feeling in the back of your head, that something’s-not-right-itch in the back of you skull. You’re wondering where I am right? Right. You’re thinking “assassin doing some reflection on the past and thinking about future jobs so he’s got to be sitting on some gargoyle somewhere near his first target overlooking a city at night”. Let me tell you now that you need to stop thinking stupid shit, otherwise you are not going follow all the things that are about to take place. And I’m not some faggot ass spandex wearing retard who does shit like sitting on top of a gargoyle in the middle of a random city. I mean first of all that’s just plain inefficient and impractical climbing all the way up there for no good reason other than to allow for a nice 360 camera shot for a movie trailer. Secondly if you numb nuts can think of it then every law enforcement agency will be setting cameras and pressure sensors on every gargoyle in the world, not to mention having flood lights periodically sweep over them. So where am I? At home in my basement doing research on my first hit. Well my mothers’ basement anyway. Hey it’s a good cover. So say what you want it does what it’s meant to do, provide me with shelter and a base of operations. Also would you all please stop trying to hack my I.P. because I’m trying to communicate with you and you’re not making easy for me…thanks, that’s better. So why you wonder am I trying of off one of my own kind, why kill those who are the last line of defense against this new scourge. Well I guess I first have to explain a few things. There is a consensus amongst humans that time is a constant event that flows in only one direction. Well that’s true as far as I know, except for one person. Me. For me time doesn’t “flow”, it is. Time exists as a singular event, past, present and future is, was and will be at the same time. Hmmm looks like the chatter has stopped so that clearly means that you’re confused. This simplest explanation for now would be that I experience the past, present, and future which apply to me at the same time. This doesn’t mean that I can tell the future and find ways around it to my benefit. Time is. So what has happened in the future has already occurred all that can change are the choices I make that will lead to the same outcome, but people who are meant to die will die whether or not it was me who killed them or not. Handy trick for an assassin don’t you think? Well it contributes to my one hundred percent success rate hence I was requisitioned for the job. Still don’t explain why I took the job right? Well I have no particular political or social preferences to either side I work for the highest bidder. Of course once the job request comes in I become aware of the future that involves that person with myself. If I see me succeeding in the hit I take the job, because all it means is that they would have died anyway, might as well get someone to pay me for it. I am not a moral less bastard that just kills for money, I do think things through and the effect it may have on other people. For example Prime minister Tatamaki would died last June, died of a heart attack like was reported in the news, there was no foul play. I was propositioned to whack her but it figured that in the interest of peace it would be better that she die of natural causes than of foul play. Now while I am not in favor of the new dispensation that seems to be gripping the world by the balls, and had no real intention of killing these seven great men. I had a reason for taking the job. There was a problem when the job came in, I received the request via one of the many ways people contact me for these sort of things, it was for seven men. But I only received one name with a not stating that when that name is scratched out I receive another. My rather unique talent make me see aware of the future involving myself and all of these men who died by my hand, I will kill them in the coming future of that I have no doubt. However whether there is reason behind this or not, when I killed them, will kill them. They didn’t die, they don’t die. Right! You’re confused, I’m confused, we’re all confused which means we are just about on the same page from here on out. Understand this; I have no idea where this ability came from, why I have it or how it works. All I know is that it’s never wrong, which I would consider my primary motivation for taking the job. I kill people they die, when I kill people and they don’t die that’s a problem, bad for PR. So curiosity let’s see if you can kill this cat. Now for the rules. I’m letting you guys in on this because as far as I can see this has no negative impact on my future and may aid me in some circumstances. Rule 1: Don’t try to contact me for any reason, not to cheer me on or berate me please. My system is designed to counter any contact and send you a very nasty virus…wait… some 200 idiots worldwide just found out the hard way, check the blogs to find out what they got, that is if they can post it before B.I.T.C.H. gets to them. Don’t worry I’ll wait. Looks like some of you are back, not a nice virus is it? So then that sums up rule 1. Rule 2: Don’t try to follow or meet me when I’m about to do a job. Just because I kill people for money doesn’t mean that I won’t shoot you in the head for nothing. Rule 3: This rule is for your safety not mine. B.I.T.C.H.’s systems won’t be able to track site traffic to a specific user for at most 30 minutes. So try not to stay on the site for more than half an hour at a time. That means a clean refresh, history wipe and a reboot. If you really want to follow all the action get some buddies together, set up a LAN and some popcorn and take turns on whose PC/MAC is connected to the net. Well now that all of that is done, how about we meet our first gentleman. See you in a few hours.