In Its Own Way

Cass had been standing in front of the door to Tim’s room for a full ten minutes. Her internal debate on if she should knock not yet resolved.

When Tim had said goodnight he seemed so dejected and resigned, it broke her heart.

She had wanted to say something to make him feel better, but she wasn’t too good with words.

She let out a long sigh, steadied herself, and gently knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Tim said in a monotone way.

Cass entered the room and gently closed the door behind her. All the lights were off and Tim was sitting on the edge of the bed staring blankly at the wall. He was wearing his uniform boots, pants and a plain white t-shirt. The only thing illuminating him was the soft, ambient light flowing in from the window overlooking the mean streets of Bludhaven.

“How are you feeling Tim?” Cass asked.

“Fine, and you Cassandra?” Tim replied.

This just reinforced to her how badly he must be feeling. Tim usually called her Cass; he only used the more formal Cassandra when he was mad or upset. She understood though, Steph’s death had been hard on both of them, but Tim had lost his father just days later. Cass honestly had trouble contemplating how he could even function.

“I’m ok I guess,” Cass responded meekly.

“I’m really tired, is there anything you need,” Tim inquired.

“I was wondering if we could talk,” the martial artist responded.

“About what,” Tim asked, his eyes still burning a hole in the wall.

“About everything that’s…..happened,” Cass replied.

“I don’t really feel much like talking,” Tim responded shifting his gaze from the wall to his boots.

“We have to talk about this Tim,” Cass insisted.

“Just go away,” Tim said forcefully, still refusing to meet her gaze.

“Tim, you don’t have to be alone,” she said gently.

“I am alone!” Tim screamed as he jumped to his feet, “I have no one left!”

“No you aren’t, you have Batman, Nightwing, Oracle…” Cass began to reply only to be cut off by Tim.

“They only know me as Robin,” Tim said sadly, “My dad and Steph knew me as Tim.”

“I know you as Tim, we all do,” Cass replied.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Tim said coldly.

Cass felt a sting as those words hit her ears. She and Tim were close enough to be family. She knew he was only speaking out of pain, but it hurt all the same.

Then she noticed a tear running down his cheek. She looked at him and even in the dim light could see the multiple scars his arms now bore. He was so broken down now. Too much had happened to him, and he was becoming old past his years.

She wasn’t sure what to do. He needed comfort and support, but she couldn’t articulate those things into words.

Then she got an idea.

She walked towards him until only inches separated them, lightly wiped the tear from his cheek, and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

Tim was too stunned to even close his eyes. He just stared blankly as Cass’s smooth, soft lips rested on his own.

“Bastard,” She said as she moved away and started to cry, “I loved Steph to, and I never even had a dad.”

Tim could see the tears now rolling down her cheeks. Cassandra Cain, maybe the deadliest person on Earth, was crying. Before Tim could say anything Cass wrapped her arms around him and buried her face his chest.

Tim held her close, his own tears starting to wet her back.

“I know Cass, I know…” was all Tim could choke out between his sobs.

They stood there for a while, comforting each other as best they could.

“She’s gone Tim, you’re the only friend I have left,” she Sobbed.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m always going to be here for you,” he replied trying to comfort her.

“I’ll always be here for you too Tim,” she assured as she held him even tighter.

They backed away from each other slightly, there tears finally starting to dissipate. He looked at her, and she at him. Then, for the second time that night, their lips meet. This time it was deeper and needier. Tim opened his mouth slightly and pressed his tongue against Cass’s lips.

Instinctually she opened her mouth and accepted the kiss. They were both feeling overwhelmed by the emotions that were overtaking them. The volatile cocktail of pain, love, lust, tension, and loneliness that had been hanging over them was being replaced by a yearning and comfort neither of them had yet experienced. For the moment they could forget all the loss, all the pain, and all the sorrow of the past weeks and find comfort in one another.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Tim said breaking the kiss and placing a hand on Cass’s cheek.

“I don’t either,” Cass replied lightly tracing her fingers through his hair.

“You can spend the night in here with me, we…..I mean…..we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” Tim offered with a blush.

Cass hesitated momentarily, if she spent the night with him they might end up doing something they’d regret later.

She was so lonely though, she felt so isolated. Kissing Tim had been the first time since Steph’s funeral that she had felt anything besides sadness.

“Ok,” she whispered.

The two vigilantes sat down on opposite sides of the bed and took off their socks and boots, and then proceeded to slide under the covers. Tentatively, almost awkwardly, Cass snuggled up to Tim, draping her arm lightly across his chest and resting her head just beneath his shoulder.

They laid in silence for a few moments. Cass was listening to the sound of Tim’s heartbeat while Tim wrapped his arm around her and drew the beautiful woman lying next to him in closer.

“Steph and me used to sleep together like this,” Tim said quietly, “Sometimes we’d go back to her house or Oracle’s so tired we’d just fall asleep holding each other without even taking our masks off.”

“One time me and Steph stayed up late watching movies and she fell asleep on my shoulder,” Cass reminisced.

“She was so funny, she used to love sappy romance movies and I hated them,” Tim recollected, “But somehow she always got me to watch them with her.”

This elicited a small and fleeting smile from the two young heroes.

“I miss her so much,” Cass said quietly.

“Me to,” Tim replied.

Sadness again took hold of them as memories of their friend flooded their minds.

All that could be heard in the darkened room were the sounds of passing cars floating in from the city outside as the pair fell silent once more.

That’s what Steph had been to both of them, a bright, kind and beautiful person that now had passed from their lives as quickly as she had entered.

“Tim” Cass said rolling on top of him, “I need you tonight; I want to be with you.”

Tim was shocked to say the least. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but he loved the feeling of being near Cass, of talking to her, holding her, kissing her. She was so beautiful, and looking at her round face, deep brown eyes, and beautiful black hair made him feel desire stronger than he’d ever felt before.

He pulled her into a long, deep kiss and began helping her out of her clothes.

“I love you,” He whispered to her as he began to feel his sadness slip away.

“I love you to,” She whispered back to him.

These were desperate, pained, immature statements of love being made by two broken-hearted people. It made no difference though, as it made their love no less passionate. Nor did it stop them from having one happy night where they could let go of it all and experience something beautiful in a world that had been so hard on both of them.

The next morning, Tim awoke to the sight of soft rays of sunlight spilling in from his window. He then felt a feeling of warmth unfamiliar to him. He glanced down and saw that Cass’s naked body was intertwined with his.

For a brief moment he felt remorseful. He wondered if the preceding night had been an act born out of Friendship, hurt, loss, or some sort of combination of the three.

He looked again at his lover, and once more felt her warmth against him.

He then thought that this experience made him feel hopeful for the first time in a long time. It made him feel more relaxed and happy than he’d felt in ages. He felt like everything could be ok again.

He knew despite the fact that friendship, hurt and loss had undoubtedly played their parts, they weren’t the driving reason for his night with Cass.

There night together was driven by the desire to ease the pain of someone they cared deeply about. So, in its own way, it had been an act of love.

AN: Hope everyone enjoyed this fic. I wrote it on vacation this summer mostly waiting around in airports or on planes. Thanks for reading and reviews are always appreciated.