FRANK

“Risa, I - I really love you. It must be weird, I know, but I love you more than life, more than I can explain. You’re the only person I ever wanted,” I said heaving a great sigh.

Goddamn it is much easier to speak to your own bloody reflection and practice the lines that might just help you get your loved one. Why did that never happen when she was standing, as solid as I was, in front of me?

I was no different from the majority of Romeos who struggled everyday to blurt out the lines; they had so painstakingly learnt and most skillfully changed the topic even before their Juliets got the slightest hint of what they wanted to say. It was like that everyday of my life, for the past 6 years, and the worst part was she hardly ever left me.

Clarrisa Matthews Walker- my best friend, my conscience, my well wisher, my angel, my dream, my hope, my need, my soul, my world. She was dearer to me than my own life and she knew that too, but she never saw me as anything more than a best friend.

She was a beauty I could not afford to lose- a masterpiece of god. Her dusky skin, her beautiful eyes, her straight nose and her lips…oh those lips tempted me – day in and day out. She never stopped me from touching her, but it was never the way I wanted to. Sometimes it felt like a magnetic attraction, because she was so different from other stupid girls of her age, who showed intelligence restricted to the topics of clothes, shoes, and facials.

Nevertheless, my attraction towards her defied all laws that physics had ever seen. Likes repel…opposites attract. Here the only thing opposite was that I was a guy…she was a girl.

She was more like my friends and me. Crazy, funny, wore too much of black and skulls, which intimidated people around her, liked loud and violent rock music and kicked butt if anyone messed with her. Oh yes she was hell of a revenge taker and I can say that because I have helped her fill lockers with rats, bees and god knows what else.

Apart from that, she was a flirty little tease

“Fwankie” she would talk the baby talk “how many times I’ve asked you not to place those lips of yours on my skin with that lip ring on? It bloody tickles me”, she would always laugh, when I would touch her soft skin. The best part of this was she was this flirtatious only with me.

She appealed like a sexy delicate goddess to not only me but to almost all other boys in school. She hated each one of them. It did not mean that there were not more predators around who could steal my unofficially occupied seat of her boyfriend. I mean, we had been for umpteen school dances and parties together. I did have some right to call myself her boyfriend to pacify my pathetic little cowardly heart right.

Right?

Right?

Right.

I knew I would have to tell her one day, so began practicing again, this time closing my eyes to imagine her sitting in front of me while I said those words.

“Hey Iero, you’re getting better” I heard from behind me as my best friend Gerard walked in. Oh was he punctual. He stood there grinning, showing me his vampire teeth.

“It’s easier, when she’s just a wonderful fragment of my memory” I shrugged

“Oh don’t worry you’ll get her…hopefully before you die”

“Joy”

“By the way, is she coming here?”

“Yeah” her thoughts began to elate me like a drug.

Two minutes later, she walked in.

“Hey” she greeted cheerfully hugging both of us

“How was school?”

“It was a bitch as usual and with this one ditching on me…even worse.” She replied shooting me a glance

“Hey sorry, but I over slept” I told her truthfully

“And you’ve been smoking.” She accused.

Oh, shit! Oh, Shit! I forgot to empty that ashtray. Holy fuck she was going to blast me off now.

“FRANK ANTHONY IERO! What do I do to make you understand that smoking is not the best thing in this world and off all the last things in my to-do list, I don’t want to bury you after you die of lung cancer!” she screamed at me.

“You disappoint me Iero,” Gerard said adding the unnecessary fuel to the fire.

“Oh you don’t say a word Mr. Way, the elder”

Yes, that is how she used to mock him

“Who was hiding from me, behind bushes at the skate park yesterday because they were stinking of beer?”

“How – who – oh I’m gonna kill Mikey”

“You won't even think of touching him boy. It’s not his fault he doesn’t want his brother dead even before he gets married.”

Ha! Look who was disappointed in me. Motherfucker.

“You both will always remain the idiots you are now.”

“Sorry, but I had just 1 cig” I defended my position shame facedly. She always made me feel guilty over the habit of mine.

“And I one beer”

“It doesn’t matter, one or ten…it’s the same effect”

“Okay …no more cigs or beers from now on.” I said.

“Better not be, or its spiders in your closet and needles in yours” she threatened, me first and then Gerard. “I have both your closet keys”

Oh, she was good at that. She had so made sure we would not dare touch those things…not in front of her anyway.

Note to self – remember to change the lock. Top priority

“Cigs are evil things,” I said dropping a whole packet into the trashcan.

“Good” she finally spoke in a normal voice. “So now I can tell you I have a date tonight”

“A date?” Gerard blurted

Did she say a date?

She said a date.

NOOOO!

“Yeah”.

“Who?”

“Zed Boston”

I raked my brains, ransacked every nook and corner of my information centre, but could not find anything remotely reminding me of that name. Nil. Nothing. Zilch.

“You know him Frank”

Okay so I found him in the cleaned up virus trash can.

“That thing you call your neighbor is your date?”

“Yeah well, he’s nice and sweet enough for me to like him”

Wait a sec... I was nice and sweet enough for her to like.

“I can't stay much longer here, I got to go and get ready,” she said filled with excitement and happiness

“Come back and tell me every thing” I tried to copy her happiness, I was surprised I could even speak!

“Course I will” and she was gone

I slumped on the nearest chair and felt Gerard’s hand on my shoulder, gripping it hard.

Words so needless to say.

I hated myself for losing her.

“It’s okay Frank, she’ll be yours.”