Why does it seem that every time my life begins to turn around and become beautiful again, everything comes crashing down on me?

     Here I am laying on the cold, dirty floor half-naked and wishing that I was home, in the warm and gentle arms of my mother with not a care in the world. But no, the Lord had to take her away from me, when I was never ready for her to go, needed her for so many more years of my life, needed her to teach me so many things that only a mother could teach. Needed her to see me grow into a woman, graduate from high school, get married, and have her first grandchild. I needed her, so much. But she's gone, gone. Yea, she died when I was 12 years old. I can still remember her warm and gentle eyes, and how they lost their warmth and became cold and weary. And knowing that I could do nothing about it tore at my little heart. She used to always know what to say, but how could I help her? me!? A little girl. I wouldn't even be in this situation now if she was still here but she's gone, so there was nothing to prevent me from it.

    I felt the strong hands of Tyrone grab me while he whispered roughly in my ear.

"I had fun tonight, hope me and you see each other again."

He winked at me and laughed such a wicked laugh. His friends laughed right behind him, little followers. Probably had nothing better to do. I stared at them all weakly, and they responded by kicking me in the side. They then all left, after Tyrone threatened me not to tell anyone, especially Antoine. I rolled over in pain but then slowly got up and pain shot through my entire body. I wanted to collapse and just die there, but I finally found the strength to get up. As I walked down the cold streets of Miami, busy with people with all shapes and sizes, and all different types of looks passed me by, I just held myself together, it was chilly. I felt like everyone's eyes were on me. Staring at me like the disgusting person I was and felt like. I felt like everything was showing- Naked for everyone to see. My soul, my skin; an open window for anyone to enter and destroy.

I could have walked to my apartment, but I didn't feel like walking such a distance. I finally made it back to my house; sigh, my mom's house. The house where hundreds of her memories filled my head. As I opened the door there was pure silence....I could hear the floor creak as I walked across the wooden paneled floor. I didn't know where my dad was at the time, probably screwing with some girl half his age. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing he wasn't home because I would have to deal with his alcohol-induced breath and hear him yelling at my face, the smell of the alcohol burning my eyes.

I guess you're wondering how I ended up in all this mess, well let's go to the beginning of where it all started.