Zoey was desperate. She had obtained both her dad's and Dean Rivers' permit to take a field trip to a library downtown tonight where J.T. Hawthorne, one of Zoey's favourite novelists, was going to present her latest novel and selling some autographed copies of it. Zoey couldn't dare to miss out on that occasion! Unfortunately, the time table of the local buses was very sparse on Saturdays. Zoey did have a learner's permit, but she had not yet found the time to take driving lessons. She wanted to do that during the subsequent vacations. Hence, she needed someone to give her a lift downtown and back. This was particularly hard because one of the teachers had just given birth to a baby, thus unable to drive a car. Zoey's next guess was Coco Wexler, or, as she would be named soon, Coco Nichols.

"I Hate that green stuff!" Coco complained while eating some lettuce. "I'll give you a lift provided that ..."

"What?"Zoey was anxious.

"I want ravioli, made according to the recipe of the Barret family!" Coco looked like a zombie due to ORD - i.e. Obsessive Ravioli Disorder.

Zoey sighed. She went over to the lounge in order to ask Michael.

=cut=

=cut=

"Sorry Zoey!" Michael shrugged. "I have to help Stacey building the pyramids of Gizeh ... with cotton swabs, I hate Cotton swabs!" He moaned.

"Along came Stacey Dillsen." Michael! Come back to our desk!

Zoey understood what was going on. "Stacey, please, I desperately need Michael's ravioli, for Coco ..."

Stacey sneered. "Hey! You want Michael to cook ravioli, I want to date Logan Reese! he's so sexy!"

"Dana wants him too!" Zoey shrugged. "And she would be very angry if ..."

"No Logan for me, no pyramids for Michael, no ravioli for Coco, no ..." Stacey scoffed.

"No J.T. Hawthorne for me ..." Zoey sighed and weeped softly.

"If Zoey found some other idiot to help you, would you ..." Michael suggested.

Stacey nodded. "Sure!"

Zoey was buffled. Who would sacrifice his weekend in order to help Stacey building a pyramid, made of nothing but cotton swabs and white glue? She pondered. Fortunately, she knew one warmhearted Samaritan. Zoey pushed the buttons on her tek-mate. "Hi Josh, this is Zoey ... no, I've made it to a B+ in chemistry, thanks! I have got some other problem. Would you please help Stacey build a sculpture of the pyramids of whosoever? ... Tonight and early tomorrow ... what? You can't?" Zoey sighed with despair. "He may do so tomorrow, but tonight it's impossible!" Zoey wondered what Josh might have been up to. He was probably dating Mindy. They didn't have enough time for that since Mindy transferred to the Caltech, along with Quinn. Whatever, it wasn't Zoey's business, so she refrained from investigating any further. "Thanks anyways!" Her despair grew deeper and deeper. She had to try yet another one. Why not Dustin? She pushed the buttons. "Hi bro! Do you have time tonight to ... oh, I forgot, your talent show, sorry ..." Zoey banged her head against the next wall. She needed to ask someone else ... Chase! Once more, the keys of her handheld phone went busy. "Oh, hi Chase ... have you got some time tonight in order to help a damsel in distress? Please! ... in my dorm? Aw sure, I'll be there!" Zoey breathed thoroughly and walked away, after waving at Michael.

=cut=

=cut=

Chase and Addie worked on a new song.

The door went open, and Zoey walked in.

Chase startled. "Zoey?"

Shaking her head, Zoey had to chuckle. "Chase, that's my dorm, and I've even warned you ... so are you and Addie dating here secretly?"

Addie blushed.

Chase let his head hang. "Zoey! I'm hiding here from the freak gang!"

"The freaks?" Zoey grinned.

"Firewire, Duane Ogilvy, and their cartoon- and RP loving friends." Chase sighed deeply. "As you know, my uncle had that shop selling cartoons, and I've worked for him on and off. I came to read a bunch of cartoons from the nineties, and I remember quite a few details. This impressed them, and now I can't get rid of them."

Addie nodded. "They are obnoxious! Fortunately, most of them are allergic against girls, thus they don't enter the girls' dorm. But once Chase moves out ..."

Zoey agreed. "OK, I understand. So, if I get the freaks to leave you in piece, you may help Stacey to build the pyramids?"

Chase nodded wholeheartedly.

"I'll help Chase!" Addie offered.

"Whatever!" Zoey shrugged. "I knew that I could rely on you!"

=cut=

=cut=

Zoey approached Firewire. "OK, Wayne!"

"Firewire!" Wayne Gilbert protested.

"Anyways ... would you please leave Chase in peace?" Zoey begged.

Firewire chuckled noisily. "Only if ... if you give me Quinndoze QP ... Quinn's program. It's the best ever!"

Zoey pondered. "I'll call Quinn!" She pushed the buttons again ... was this ever coming to an end? "Oh hi Mindy! This is Zoey Brooks from the PCA ...Is Quinn with you? ... Damn, she has to fetch her first." Zoey felt valuable minutes passing away like snowflakes in a blast furnace. "OK, Quinn ... yes, Nevel is doing fine! ... Firewire needs your software, Quinndoze QP , or he will keep on torturing Chase who won't help Stacey building the pyramids, preventing her from letting Michael cook ravioli for Coco, in turn for giving me a lift downtown. I'll die unless I meet J.T. Hawthorne ... What? Dork del Figgalo poured oyster sauce over your harddrive? And Mindy is not going to date Josh tonight? ... Sorry, guys, there is no QP. It's gone down the drain."

"OK, then we won't budge from Chase!" Firewire confirmed.

Zoey had yet one last idea. She pushed even more buttons. "Lisa! You've helped Quinn testing her software ...yeah, could you do that? Thanks! You're so great!" Zoey sighed with relief.

Ten minutes later, Lisa Zemo arrived. "OK, Firewire? I may rewrite the whole thing, just for you."

Firewire beamed. "May I watch, help, and learn?" He had almost forgotten that he hated girls.

"That would be great!" Lisa Zemo smiled.

Firewire couldn't help pecking Lisa on the cheeks. "I love you!" He blushed deeply.

Zoey smiled and sighed in relief.

"Just to make it clear!"Arthur insisted in one thing: "We will leave Chase alone once Firewire and Lisa are done, and not one second too early!"

"How long may it last?" Zoey asked Lisa.

The geek girl shrugged. "Until midnight? It took Quinn 24 hours straight..."

Zoey's hopes sank below the freezing point. She had to hope that they were a lot faster than planned. Now she decided to visit Dustin and wish him good luck for the talent shop.

=cut=

=cut=

"Dustin! Good luck for the show!" Zoey huggled her little brother and kissed him on the top of his head. "What are you showing?"

"I'm sawing virgins!" Dustin beamed.

"Oh cool? As long as you don't cut me into half ..." Zoey remarked.

"Are you a virgin?" Dustin asked innocently.

Zoey blushed. "I won't answer to that question, not before all the strangers here, anyways!"

"OK sis!" Dustin sighed. "First, I wanted to divide my friend scooter ... the guy with the girl's wig ... but he's just a plain coward!" he sighed. "I wanted Lola because this would make me cool, most middle school boys are obsessed with her ..."

"Oh, they are?" Zoey moaned sarcastically. "I think she will appreciate that ..."

But Lola needs to guard the baby of some teacher. Now Reginald offered himself. Ashley just needs to get him yet another girl's wig.

Freddie walked around, aiming his cam at the box. "I definitely would like to see Sam in pieces!"

"And vice versa!" Sam replied.

Megan, Carly, and Paige walked up to the stage. They explained that they were going to assist Sam performing some other trick.

"Josh is a great illusionist, almost like Doheny. I've learnt a lot from him!" Megan explained. "Oh, Josh, here we are!"

Josh Nichols stepped ahead. "Megan, good luck for the show, you will need it!"

"Thanks, boob!" Megan smiled. "Good luck tonight!"

Now Zoey wanted to know where Josh was bound for. "Mindy said that you are not going to date tonight! So you must have time to help Stacey ..."

Josh twitched and shook his head. "Mindy? ... I've never said that I'm going to meet Mindy tonight!"

Megan nodded. "He won't!"

Zoey was totally confused. Unless Lisa and Firewire effected some miracle, she could forget about J.T. Hawthorne.

"The reason why I can't help Stacey is ..." Josh sighed deeply. "tonight, one of my favourite novelists is coming to town. I need to shake my booties at 6.p.m. in order to make it there in time!"

"Er ... your favourite author ... is that , by any chance, J.T. Hawthorne?" Zoey wondered.

Josh nodded. "Oh yeah, that's her! Now I must hurry up ..."

"Wait!" Zoey begged Josh. "Are you going there alone or ..."

Josh shook his head. "All alone! Nobody but me seems to like J.T. Hawthorne. And she's so ... almost like Oprah Winfrey, the divine one." He twitched uncontrollably.

"Nobody would come to a library with a bigheaded boob!" Megan boomed.

"Josh! I want to get there, too." Zoey sighed. "I adore J.T. So you have still got some free seat left?"

Josh twitchewd. "Oh, sorry for not coming out earlier. What are you waiting for?"

Zoey beamed brightly. She grabbed Josh, and they walked off. No software for Firewire, no peace for Chase, Michael will have to help Stacey, no ravioli for Coco ... but J.T. for Zoey, and that's all what counted.

Finally, the show started.

"PCA Entertainment Channel. This is Jeremiah Trottman. I've got some good news: Lola Martinez is not here." Trottman sighed. "The bad news: She will arrive later tonight. We are reporting about the PCA Middle School Talent Show. Our first contestant is Dustin Brooks, he's going to saw a virgin!"

The audience applauded.

Alas, Nicole protested. "Hey! You can't saw my brother into half! Get out of there, Reginald! It's dangerous!"

Dustin knew that it wasn't dangerous, but he could impossibly betray his own trick, just in order to calm Nicole.

Alas, Reginald did not react to Nicole's bimboish shouts. He had learnt to ignore them.

Diego held Nicole back. "Shut up, you silly wench!"

"Ouch!" Nicole pouted and sneered.

Fake blood splattered when Dustin cut through the box.

Nicole fainted and passed out.

Many others tried to compete with Dustin and Reginald, but ...

"The audience has decided!" Jeremiah announced.

Lola, who had just come back from babysitting, took the microphone. "And the winner is: Dustin Brooks and his assistant Reginald Bristow!"

Nicole woke up and saw Reginald holding the trophy. "Oh ... I've dreamt that someone has sawed Reginald into half ... Whatever, I'm proud of you!" She smiled. "Isn't Reginald very cool? Tell me how cool he is!"

Zoey and Josh returned from downtown. "Dustin! I knew that you would make it!" She smiled brightly.

Dustin huggled Zoey.

Josh was sad that Megan had not won.

"Hey! We've got this wonderful second prize!" Megan remarked. "And Dustin deserved it, really! And so did Reginald"

Sam, Carly, and Paige agreed with their friend.

"Zoey, I've recorded Dustin's performance on DVD, just for you!" Freddie beamed.

"Thanks! You're very nice." Zoey shook Freddie's hand.

Nevel and Megan played the triumphal ode from Giusepe Verdi's Aidafor Dustin and Reginald. Juanita sang along.

Chase entered the hall and yelled: "Finally free! Zemo has rewritten Quinn's program from scratch. Michael may now start cooking his ravioli for Coco!"

Too bad, the latter was already cramping, aching, and whimpering in agony due to severe withdrawal from ravioli. And Michael was too tired for cooking - after having glued swabs for eight hours straight.

Zoey shrugged. "Serves her well!"