A/N: Based on a semi-almost-true story. Then a touch of creativity ;)

"Okay, Matt, get over there, and make sure you don't point that thing at anyone and act like it's a real gun," I said putting Matt at the end of the folding table that Sara brought for our "science project" for English class.

"But I thought I was suposed to kill Snow White," Matt joked. Immediately Victoria, who was dressed up as Snow White, stepped back to the other side of the table.

"Ah if you have to worry about anyone you'd have to worry about me, MWAHAHA!" Amanda joked maniacly, seeing as she was dressed as the wicked queen.

"You guys are crazy," Victoria laughed.

"Alright guys, lets be careful around this stuff," Sara said, who was dressed up as Doc. I grabbed the box of rubber gloves and handed everyone a pair.

"Mom, come down please!" I yelled upstairs. We decided to video tape us doing an experiment, to try to poison apples like Snow White. We all dressed up as characters from the story too. I was dressed up as Dopey.

When my mom got into the office she made sure the camera was on the tripod and directed right at us and that we all fit in the frame. She pressed the Record button and we started.

"Hey guys, for our tangible project we decided to disprove the poisoned apple from Snow White," I introduced.

"We thought, wouldn't the apple look different if it were poisoned? Wouldn't there be signs that it was contaminated?" Sara asked the camera.

"So we collected different non-digestible household items and rat poison to try and poison these apples," Amanda said, dramatically motioning towards the items on the table.

"First we decided to test soaking the apples in the poison," Victoria said.

"Then we decided to inject the poison into the apples with a seringe," Matt said.

And on the project went, all going as planned. No one got hurt and no one had any emergency clean ups with all the toxic and poisonous items, which, for my friends, was a major acomplishment.

About two hours later Amanda and Victoria were the last two to leave, after we had cleaned up all of the items from the experiment.

I was pretty hungry so I walked into the kitchen as soon as those two left and found some apples from an apple tree. They kind of looked like the apples we used for the experiment, but I knew that Matt threw them away, so I grabbed one and bit into it.

"This apple is pretty sour," I said looking at it. I decided to finish it.

"Hey mom, I'm going to go to bed," I said.

"This early?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm really tired," I replied.

"Alright," she said. I headed downstairs to my bedroom and passed out as soon as my head touched the pillow.

"What are you doing up there?" a little bearded man in a brightly colored, what seemed to be, zebra striped dwarf outfit called up to me. Wait, where was I? I looked around.

I'm in a tree.

How'd I get in a freakin' tree?!

"I have no clue. Where am I?" I asked.

"Wonderland," another little unbearded man in another brightly colored dwarf outfit, except his was leopard print. Okay, what did my mother put in my food?

"Um, aren't white rabbits and Mad Hatters and DoDo Birds supposed to be in Wonderland?" I asked. "And talking flowers and cardsmen?"

"Oh yeah, they're all here, but we're here too. We're the seven dwarfs," the first one replied.

"Um, I really hate to burst your bubble but there's only two of you here," I said.

"There's five more, silly," the second one replied.

"Alright, well, what are your names?" I asked.

"My name is Doc," the first one answered.

"And mine is Dopey," the second one answered.

"And so is whatever is going on here," I mumbled to myself.

"So, would you like to meet the other five dwarfs?" asked Doc.

"I don't really think so. I need to figure out how the heck I got here and how the heck to get out," I replied.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!" Dopey said.

"Alright," I replied with a sigh.

Stupidest decision of my life.

Turns out these dwarfs had this pimped out cottage. And I am being completely serious, or at least as serious as serious can get in this place, that the cottage was pimped out. It looked like a playboy mansion...on the outside.

Now the inside was completely different. The inside had a few smoke machines, strobe lights, stereos and such. And the funiest thing was the dwarfs were playing Party In My Bedroom by Cash Cash. I mean, really? But this was so MESSED UP. I mean, there are seven partying dwarfs in a pimped out cottage in the middle of Wonderland. What the hell kind of hallucinagin did I somehow get slipped tonight?

And if that wasn't bad enough.

One of the dwarfs, apparently his name was Sleepy, fell asleep hanging from the ceiling fan. How on earth do you fall asleep on a freaking ceiling fan? And Sneezy, holy crow. He could practically beat box with his sneezes. Then there was Bashful and Happy who partied like no other and kept trying to get Grumpy to lay off the weed.

At that point I just walked out the door.

And that was it. I hope.

They weren't following me or anything.

So I took that as a good sign.

But it didn't take long for that to be ruined.

I came apon a very large lake. It's like a lake from Maine. Those things are monsterous.

"Row you mangy crustacians, row or I'll boil you up for dinner!" I heard someone yelling, then saw a yellow boat with a pink and purple striped sail.

Oh for the love of God. The side of the boat said S.S. DoDo.

FML.

Seriously.

FML.

"Do you need a ride, young maid?" the sailor, the DoDo, asked me.

"A ride to were?" I asked.

"Anywhere, hun! Forward, backward, in toward the lake, out toward the royal court, anywhere!" he replied, giving me a hand to get on the boat.

"Where were you headed?" I asked as I reluctantly stepped on the boat.

"We were headed toward the Caucus Race!" the DoDo replied excitedly.

"Uh, yeah, I'd rather skip that. Could we head to the royal court?" I asked.

"Sure, my dear. You heard her! To the royal court!" yelled the DoDo. "So, from where do you come?" he asked.

"I come from Pennsylvania," I replied.

"Where on earth is that? Is it in that Penn, I mean Pine tree?" he asked.

Come to think of it I did come from a Pine tree. Huh.

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"Well what brings you to Wonderland?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe some drugs, maybe some illegal substances," I replied.

About 10 minutes later we came apon a giant castle made of cards.

"Is that seriously made of cards?" I asked.

"Yes they are," he said smiling. "My Grandpa DoDo helped build that magnificant castle."

"Isn't that wonderful," I said and stepped off the boat. "Thanks for the ride."

"Now to find the queen," I said, heading towards the castle.

A/N: R&R