Review to "Chapter 1" of "I Can't Accept Your Love-A Harvest Moon fanfic"
made by Mikki
Well, it seems as though it could make a very good story. Maybe go back, edit it with a friend or parent... I don't know if it's just me, but it doesn't make much sence.
I have no idea what's going on in the story at all...
Maybe write out a web, or chart to plan out where the story is going and how it's going to end. Just a suggestion, you don't have to if you don't want.
Happy Writing!
~Mikki